There are many reasons we don’t tackle the things we need to do to make change or move forward in our lives.
Fear that we will find it too hard, fail or disappoint someone. Or our inbuilt perfectionism holds us to impossibly high standards that cause us to not even try. Or sometimes, we have a fear of success: we procrastinate to protect ourselves from higher expectations that will ensue after we do well.
Often, my clients easily identify where they want to be in their life, and they are able to see the actions they need to get there. But they still don’t do it.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of ‘busy-ness’, especially if you are a mum. There is always so much to do for our families, that it’s easy to put off the actions we need to take to reach our own career goals.
Lately, I’ve been using a simple ‘5 second rule’ to overcome all of these emotions, stop procrastinating, and “just do it”.
It’s an idea initiated by Mel Robbins. She is an American TV and radio host, author, and motivational speaker.
She talks a lot about how our brains are hard-wired to keep us in our comfort zone. The problem is, that often your comfort zone is exactly where you don’t want to be! You want more. You want something different. Or you want to move forward to the next chapter in your work and life.
Her ‘5 second rule’ uses a simple, but effective strategy to stop the powerful thoughts and old habits that convince you not to take action. You know the ones. Living in the future: “I’ll go back to university when the kids are self-sufficient.” Being afraid of failure: “There’s no use applying for that job – I won’t get it and I’ll make a fool of myself.” Being too busy: “I would love to start my own business, but I have too many things to do at home.” Self-doubt: “I’d love work in marketing, but who’d hire me?” Sometimes your brain kicks in with multiple reasons why you can’t take action all in the same train of thought!
The way to de-rail your brain’s automatic response is to interrupt these thought patterns within the first five seconds. Mel Robbins explains the premise behind the ‘5 second rule’ like this: When you hesitate about doing something, it sends a stress signal to the brain. Your brain reacts by trying to keep you ‘safe’ – avoiding action, and staying in your comfort zone. Disrupting these unhelpful thought patterns before you hesitate (within the first five seconds) will stop them in their tracks.
Her simple strategy is, as soon as you have a thought about an action you could take to move towards your goals, count backwards from five. “5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1.”
This rockets the cognitive part of your brain into action, and disengages the habit loops in your thought patterns that make you hesitate and ultimately lead to procrastination. Counting backwards (not upwards) is important, as it triggers the thinking part of your brain, and has a finite finishing point. (Count the other way, and you could keep going up!)
She suggests starting small, and coming up with two things per day you could do to move forward towards your goals. Then, just when you are going to put them off (again), use the ‘5 second rule’ to stay on track. Try to do them in the morning – the first two hours of the day are when we are at our most productive. The beauty of this is that once you start to see your actions heading you in the right direction, you further disrupt your negative self-talk because you have evidence that you can do it!
It sounds simple, but it’s a technique I’ve used a lot. And it really worked for me!
Check out Mel Robbin’s on Youtube. It only takes a few minutes to watch
Just try it! Her ‘5 second rule’ could be the thing that propels you towards making change, and finding a career that you love.