They say it takes a village to raise a child.
Sometimes I think that this concept is as much about supporting the wellbeing of parents as it is about supporting the child’s growth as a valuable member of society.
Whether it be in child-raising, undertaking study or a embarking on a new career path, or even just surviving the ups and downs of every day life – having the support of a network of friends can be central to our health and happiness.
Technology and improved living standards have bought many advantages to us, but along with that social change there is now less of an emphasis on communal living. As a result, being a stay-at-home mum can be very isolating.
The norms presented through the lens of social media and advertising can lead to a perception of inadequacy and feeling that everyone else’s life is better than our own. Isolation only adds credence to our inner voice that sometimes lets self-doubt creep in.
But our friends offer us the opportunity to test our own version of reality. And often we find it has been skewed by negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves. Keeping up personal contact can dispel that inner voice and provide the cheer squad you need to succeed in life.
Life gets hard sometimes, and just having someone that we can share the experience with really helps – ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’! And it’s not just in the downtimes that we need our friends’ support.
We all know that workplaces and schools actively encourage collaboration, and with good reason – friends can also provide a perfect forum for bouncing ideas around, providing advice, and inspiring you to progress.
One thing I see over and over with my clients is that when women support women, we can achieve great things. Often we hold back on reaching out to our friends, but really, a good friendship is mutually beneficial, and true friends take great joy in helping and supporting each other.
I know of a family who formed their own childcare co-op to enable everyone to participate in the workforce. Rather than pay for childcare, they took turns looking after each other’s children, co-ordinating around workdays. As an added bonus, the children benefited from having another influence and positive role model in their lives.
While you may not need to have support set up in any formal kind of arrangement, have a think about your circle of friends and how you could support each other. What do you value in friendships? Do you offer that to others? Choose your friends wisely. A true friend will build your confidence rather than feed your self-doubt. Choose people who share your values and will help you to grow.
Women supporting women on this crazy ride we call motherhood is the strongest formula for success. Together we can achieve more!